Vegetarian Meals That Don’t Taste Like Ass: Part I

Eat your feelings. It's ok. Guacy understands.

So, I’ve recently made the decision to try eating vegetarian. I’d like to say that this has been easy, and that I’m feeling more zen than a pile of perfectly balanced lima beans, but alas.

I started off 2012 just eating fish, and that was fine. I don’t eat a lot of land walking meat. I love bacon and the occasional gyro, but in general, it just isn’t something I crave. However, I’m pleasantly afflicted by the urge to run to Green Life and indulge my sushi addiction probably 3 times a week. It’s an expensive and tantalizingly delicious habit. That, and there’s a nice sushi guy who gives me double the portion for the same price.
It’s getting hard, y’all. When you walk into the Mall and the first thing you see in the food court are the nice little Asian people handing out sample slices of tender roast chicken, it’s difficult to remember you’re not eating meat anymore.
However, I’m slowly getting used to it. I’ve stumbled a few times, but I *am* serious about this decision. I’m also the type of person (a human naturist, if you will) that realizes that giving into temptation now and then isn’t such a bad thing. When I eat unhealthy now, my digestive system tends to balk and relentlessly confess its sins to the porcelain goddess later.

In the mean time, I’ve found some quick meals that replace some old favorites, if you will. And yes, facon and tofurkey are actually really tasty!
Vegetarian meal options have a bad rap in our culture. It either tastes like cardboard or baby food. Sometimes an unpleasant combination of both. One of the recipes I’ve been trying lately, when I just want to pig out on something is a good guacamole salsa. It’s filling, and yet light enough to snack on over a period of hours while doing homework or whatnot. I borrowed this recipe from The Frosted Bake Shop and it’s wonderful!

1 lb. tomatillos (or more if you want it thinner)

1 jalapeno pepper (or more if you like it spicy)

1/3 bunch cilantro

1 thick slice of onion

1 garlic clove

1 avocado

1 tsp. salt

Peel and wash the tomatillos – they are usually found over by the cilantro & peppers, and have a husk on them. Cut them into quarters and put in the blender. Follow with the jalapeno, cilantro, onion, garlic, avocado & salt. Be sure to put the tomatillos in the bottom of the blender and not the avocado so it doesn’t stick to the blade. You might have to help it start by shaking or using a mixer at first. But, once it gets going the juice from the tomatillos will help move the other ingredients around. It lasts in the fridge in a seal tight container for about a week. Although, honestly, we both know you’re going to down it in one sitting.